Major Flashback!

A JC Penney catalog from 1977.

Found my next dining room set, which is apparently made by adding upholstery to old barrels:

 Also, I am totally getting this for my bathroom:

There's plenty more home furnishings where those came from, however I'm not going to bore you with that. Instead, I'm going to bore you with something else. The clothes.

The clothes are fantastic.

Here's how to get your butt kicked in elementary school:

Just look at that belt. It's like a boob-job for your pants. He probably needed help just to lift it into place. The belt loops have to be three inches long. And way to pull them up to your armpits, grandpa.

Here's how to get your butt kicked in high school:

This kid looks like he's pretending to be David Soul, who is pretending to be a cop who is pretending to be a pimp that everyone knows is really an undercover cop. Who is pretending to be 15.

Here's how to get your butt kicked on the golf course:

This "all purpose jumpsuit" is, according to the description, equally appropriate for playing golf or simply relaxing around the house. Personally, I can't see wearing this unless you happen to be relaxing around your cell in D-block. Even then, the only reason you should put this thing on is because the warden made you.

Here's how to get your butt kicked pretty much anywhere:

If you look at that picture quickly, it looks like Mr. Bob "No-pants" Saget has his hand in the other guy's pocket. In this case, he doesn't. And what’s up with the matching coffee cup?.

Here's how to get your butt kicked at the beach:



He looks like he's reaching for a gun, but you know it's probably just a bottle of suntan lotion in a holster.

How to get your butt kicked in a meeting:



If you wear this suit and don't sell used cars for a living, I believe you can be fined and face serious repercussions, up to and including termination. Or imprisonment, in which case you'd be forced to wear that orange jumpsuit.

How to get your butt kicked on every day up to and including St. Patrick's Day

Dear god in heaven, I don't believe that color exists in nature. There is NO excuse for wearing either of these ensembles unless you're working as a body guard for the Lucky Charms leprechaun.

In this next one, Your Search For VALUE Ends at Penneys.

As does your search for chest hair.

And this -- Seriously. No words.

Oh wait, it turns out that there are words after all. Those words are What. The. H*** . I'm guessing the snap front gives you quick access to the chest hair. The little tie must be the pull tab.

Also, judging by the sheer amount of matching his/hers outfits, I'm guessing that in 1977 it was considered pretty stylish for couples to dress alike. These couples look happy, don't they?

I am especially fond of this one, which I have entitled "Cowboy Chachi Loves You Best."

And nothing showcases your everlasting love more than the commitment of matching bathing suits. And what exactly is she looking at?

Then, after the lovin', you can relax in your one-piece matching terry cloth jumpsuits:



I could go on, but I'm tired, and my eyes hurt from this trip back in time. I think it's the colors. That said, I will leave you with these tasteful little numbers:

Man, that's sexy.

Neologisms 2007

This was posted by The Washinton Post in November 2007. Readers were asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomache.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent

6. Negligent (adj), describes a condition in which you abentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.), emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.) a humorus question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n.), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15.Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by poplar demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Our Bio

Just so you all know I had nothing to do with the last blog enrty. That was all Andrew & I am not happy with it but kinda brings me to me to this entry..... I have read alot of blogs in my life & most all have little bios of who they are & such so thought I'd add mine. Problem is that most of you might not care... It's cool cause I'm doing this for me any way.

Andrew & I knew each other in high school but were not formally introduced till 2 weeks after his return from Argintina where he served his mission. We dated off & on & then 1 day popped the question. We had Gavin 3 yrs after being married & Emma came 4 yrs after that. We live in sunny cali. & love it. Andrew keeps me laughing & although I did not aprove of the last blog entry it did make me laugh a little but still does not make it right. Just needed to set the record straight that it was not I.

I'm BACCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!

I'm BACCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!
Yes, we are all doing well finally! Andy went to urgent care & is now taking 5 different meds. But glad that he is back to his normal fun self :) If you want to a good read got to AS THE RECORDS TURN.... Kristen is my sister & is way creative & funny so check it out! Gavin is getting baptized this Tuesday at my mom & dad's. Gavin's request is to get baptized in grandma's jacuzzi. We will take lots of pics. & post them. I am looking forward to General Confernce this weekend. It will be neat to sustain our new presidency :) I can't think of anything else at the moment that is excitng enough to write....

Sick House :(

Everyone is sick at my house but me (knock on wood) I am drained taking care of the sick ones. I will post soon but meanwhile enjoy this pic.

Daylight Savings Time:

Either you hate it or love it. I for 1 love it because it means being outside all day for the kids so I can keep my sanity & it also means lots of BBQ's & beach time :) But for now I'm hating it cause the kids don't go to bed. I am told that I'm the meanest mom in the world cause Gavin & Emma are the only kids on the block that have to come in before it gets dark. Can you imagine? But I question why we even have time changes? Wasn't it invented for the farmers so they could have more time to harvest? But I don't farm so why? Oh well I guess we could all look like this:

We Took The Day Off.......

And went to the Happiest Place on Earth oh yea without the kids! Can I get an Amen on  that 1? We went on all the fast scary rides that normally we would not go on if we had kids in tow. Space Mountain  rocks! It's darker & faster! We also went to California Adventure Park & went on a very very very fast roller coaster which also rocked but I almost lost my cookies. The highlight of the whole day was being there with Drew with no kids! We are planning to go again in May but with the kids so Emma can have lunch with the princesses.... Season tickets rule!Here are a few pics.